Fighting for LOVE

I’m finally taking a step back, and really looking at how I got H E R E.

To this place and time with my sportsman.

It didn’t start out as love.

Is that wrong?

It was a friendship.

It was a loyal friend.

It was a good friend, in a time,
when I was in need of comforting.

It was a friend I could count on.

Somewhere in my dystfunctional childhood and life, I have become someone whose biggest focus is on feeling safe, secure, and loved.

I know what am I six years old? What kind of goals are those for an adult.

I met him on the job. We both worked for the same company.

It was not love at first site.

Over time I began to depend on him.

He was always around. Steady. Solid. Reliable.

I felt like his love was enough for the both of us.

Is that wrong?

Got married cause it was the right thing.

Cause the kids loved him.

Cause he is loyal.

Cause he cares.

Cause I was afriad of being alone.

But

Never really letting him inside the "box".

Is that wrong?

I played my part. I care for him.

I love him. I can't imagine my life without him.

Is that confusing history with being in love?

Am I staying out of loyalty?

Should someone stay because feel you owe them?

You owe them for all the good things they have brought to your life.

When in the end not being in love with them the way they deserve can actually be more damaging than just leaving.

Or is there a chance

That you can make a change.

Give him a chance, to really be a part of your life.

Maybe fall in love.

With someone who has given you everything.

Just sayin……..

anacostiaque