The sportsman has recently
given me an ultimatum. (I
totally do not blame him)
It’s either the married family
life or the single life. I
need to choose. NOW!
(Just so you know I have
choosen the married life)
The sportsman is soooooo not down with,
anymore of my late nights out with the
“girl’s” bulltshit. It’s just not gonna fly
anymore with him.
Once here and there is no big deal. Twice in a
month and rolling in at 3am, is unacceptable.
I used to say that fb was the devil, or place
blame on other areas for all of our marriage
problems.
When……………….
In all reality, it’s ME. I am to blame for the
problems in my marriage.
It’s my behavior that has caused most of our
problems. I fell off the wagon some time back.
And have not made any attempt to get back on.
It is not anyone elses fault that I have been
running around acting like I am single.
But…………………………..
I was having soooooo much fun. Why the need to
choose? Why did I allow him to force me into
getting married? When I really didn’t want to.
Its not that I want to be divorced now, but I
really do enjoy “MY” time out with the girls.
I like the freedom. I hate to have to answer
to anyone.
I know, I have been told that is very selfish.
I know that part of being married is doing
your part in the relationship.
And I have not been.
I just feel like if I give up all the things
he wants me to, then I will lose the real ME.
So how much of yourself do you sacrifice to
make a relationship work?
I know I have a lot I could change and I could
be giving a lot more to our relationship.
I am trying to look at the big picture here.
You know, the long run.
I don’t want to be divorced .
or be back out in the dating market.
I know that for sure.
So there needs to be a happy medium. Right?
Evidentially, I am not giving enough of the 50/50 in our relationship. Big surprise there.
Go ahead you can say I am fucking everything
up. I know that I am.
Don't think that I am not remosefull.I am. I
hate that all that I have done has hurt the
sportsman. My actions weren't intentional. I
just got carried away.
But now, If I don’t seriously get my shit
together soon, I am gonna find myself alone.
and that is sooooooo NOT where I want to be.
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