Every year my mom has thanksgiving at her house. We have all our family over, even extended family. Which means lots and lots of people. There is all kinds of "fun" going on at her house.
It is a super good time. Ok maybe just a tad bit of drama, but who doesn't have that.
Then after dinner we all head down to the plaza to watch the lights turn on. Its sweet.
It is a tradition. We are big on family traditions.
This year things have been tough between the sportsman and I. Emotionally I have struggled. When its thanksgiving time you should be all happy and things should be wonderful. You’re with family. Right. The love should be poring out of you right?
I was hoping that I could pull my head out of my ass for a short bit and make it a special time for my sportsman.
He so deserves it. I know.
So just like every year the sportsman and I do the whole Black Friday shopping thing.
Why do we do this? I just don’t know. I 've been sick lately. Not sure its such a good idea this year.
I swear it never fails the week before tempretures are on the 50’s then the week of Thanksgiving they drop to the 20’s. WTF?
Even with multiple layers, I freeze my ass off.
So I sat down with the sportsman prior to the big day,to discuss our plan of action for the shopping this year.
AS I have spoken of before. The sportsman has an entirely different view of spending than I do. It does not matter if it’s a birthday, anniversary or holiday. Less is more he says. LESS IS MORE. WTF!
I disagree, but whatever.
The whole conversation took a turn for WTF, I don’t know. B A D.
What should have been a quick chat about what presents we were going to purchase, ended in he doesn’t trust me and he knows I cheated on him in June this year.
Which by the way I totally denied and will continue to deny till the day I die.
Right or wrong .
So now you can see what kind of thanksgiving I potentially could of had.
A suck ass one.
IF wasn't for my sweet sweet charms and I worked my magic, well really my red lace panties from Victoria Secret worked some magic, so that the sportsman would feel a little more secure.
Along with some sweet ass sex on the table where the board games were being played. Now I don't know if he walked away 100 percent more secure but he sure was satisfied.
AS for the spending. I did buy some stuff. There were lots of awesome deals out there. and remember life is too short to just sit on your money.
I say spend- spend- spend. Like there is no tomorrow.
You know when you go to heaven you can’t take any thing with you. SO why not enjoy it now. What cha waiting for? Any big purchases for you this year?
Earlier this year (approx. 6 months ago) I spoke about the, "Death of a friendship". If you need a refresher you can go HERE.
I originally chose to end this friendship due to the stress it had me under. Stress is not good for my disease. It's actually very very b a d.
It seems just like yesterday I was dealing with this issue.
The possible loss of this good friend, due to some hurt feelings and ultimately the severe stress of it all.
Don’t worry, if you read back HERE, this friend did not literally die.
Just our f r i e n d s h i p.
It was not looking too good, then there was a discussion.
So things were a little better for awhile. So I thought. Then it slowly seemed to slip away.
I tried, Honestly I did. To make things better. I think sometimes however when the damage is done, its hard to ever go back to the way it was. Wouldn't you agree?
I would send him FB messages,to call me. I would ask how he was doing. I would invite him out. I put alot of effort into trying to repair our friendship.
I got minimal effort on his part.In my world a friendship is a 50/50 thing. You give , I give.
I am not one to give everything and receive nothing in return, but excuses.
So anyway, on multiple occasions I have invited this friend out to meet me. Always an excuse, as to why he couldn’t make it. I get it, he has a family and responsibilities. But come on, every single time. Really? My thought is if he really wanted to come out to meet me and hang out then he would of made it happen. Am I wrong here?
So this last week I made my final attempt to invite this friend out. The “girls” night out to be exact. He said he would be there. I sat there with the girls for hours, waiting for him to show. Then at midnight (yes I waited till freakin midnight) I gave up hope and went with the majority vote of the girls to head to “that” bar, you know the one I wasn’t even supposed to go to.
I did not text or call my friend, as he does not have a cell for me to contact him.So I assumed that if he wasn’t there at midnight he probably wasn't coming.
Wouldn’t you assume the same thing? Is it just me, or who heads out to a bar at midnight? To my knowledge he wasn’t already out.
My initial thought was, he had never really planned on meeting me. He was just blowing smoke up my ass.
Which hurt my feelings. I thought we had patched things up. Then I got mad. WTF!
I guess my friendship wasn’t all that important after all.
So the girls head out to the “meat market” as the sportsman likes to call it.
And I find out that my friend showed up right after we left.
(Let me put it out there that I didn’t know this little fact till the next day)
So anyways, after I got a ride back to my car (at the original bar), from the “meat market” bar.I decided that the night was still young and I would run by my other friends house. I only got to briefly chat with him at the bar earlier in the night.
It was after all a girls night out.
So after I got to my car, I texted him to see where he was.
I was in luck, he was leaving the bar and heading home. He asked me to meet him there.
Excellent timing, and what a great way to end the night.
So I headed over to my friends house, and waited in the driveway for him to show up.
Now I knew he would have a friend with him. Cause I talked to both of them at the original bar.
What I had not expected was my “other” friend that I was supposed to meet earlier in the evening, (that never showed) to also be in the car with them.
Ohhhhhhhhh, holy shit! That is sooooooooooooo not good.
If you read back toHERE, in the original “Death of a Friendship” . You will see that these are the same two men.
My friendship with the 2nd guy is the reason for the death of
my friendship with guy no 1.
So you can imagine the guilt I felt seeing him get out of the car and here I am at our mutual friend’s house, in the middle of the night. I stayed for awhile. Thats all I will say.
I won't give you details, cause that is not what this post is about. I will just say that my friend is back to not speaking to me again.
I have now come to the conclusion that I just can't worry about him anymore. Or try and patch up this friendship on my own. If he is done, then so am I. I don't beg . Ever. For anyone.
It makes me very sad to say this, but I just can’t carry the load anymore. I will only try for so long before I call it quits. I said it before and I will say it now, friendships shouldn't be this difficult to maintain.
As of recently I have had quite the potty mouth. Like a freakin sailor.
Normally I would only drop the "F " bomb if I was REALLY pissed off about something.
Well, it seems as of late I must be real angry, about something.
Since I use it all the damn time. Angry about what? I do not know. I don’t feel like I'm pissed off all the time. Maybe here and there. Is it subconcious?
I have been disappointed lately in some of the things that have happened in my life. but then again isn't everyone disappointed now and again with life. No one is happy all the time. Is my increase in foul language due to less church attendance?
Not sure. I can say with cetainty that I don’t hang out with any sailors. Where is all this anger coming from? I think I need some intervention. Of some sort. Any suggestions?
When I was growing up we weren’t even allowed to tell someone to shut up. That waslike saying the F word.
Who have I become? As of late? Why am I allowing myself to be so angry? and what is the issue that is pissing me off? Is this about "him"? I just don't know. It's something to ponder on. If it is, when will it stop being about "him"?
I tell other people all the time that life is too short, so enjoy it to the fullest. Right?
SO why then am I not enjoying it myself? To its fullest.
I can tell you after last weekend the sportsman may
n e v e r let me out of the house again, much less ever go to a girls night out. Honestly, if he lets me out of his sight it will be a fucking miracle.
It wasn’t so much that I was out till 2:40am, which I never stay out that late.
I am normally in bed by 9pm most nights.
It wasn’t so much that he really didn’t know where I was the whole time. (as it should be)
The big thing that pissed the sportsman off was a particular bar I went to. He had told me up front not to go there and I went anways. It wasn’t my plan. I went with a group of girls. I was not driving my own car. So I can't really be to blame.
Ultimately I could have called it a night when the girls left the one bar to go to the bar I wasn’t allowed at. But I was having fun.
I thought what the hell. How bad can it be.
I mean really. Arent all bars pretty much a meat market?
Besides, does the sportsmannot remember who he is married to. If I don’t want you to fuck with me, then you WON’T fuck with me.
Plain and simple.
Of course if I do, you will know it.
The fact is, I hardly ever go out with the girls. So I should take advantage and live it up while I can. Right?
Did I mention that I only had to pay for 2 drinks the entire night.Of course I only drank a total of 2 margaritas and 3 beers.
That’s always nice , cause alcohol in bars is freakin expensive.
So as of now, I am not allowed to go out anymore, truth is I can fucking go out anytime I want. Only if I want my marriage to end.
So I am good for the moment. At staying home near the sportsman, where he can keep a close eye on me.
So I though I should share with you the music that really gets me going.
I listen to these bands every single day.All day.
They are my all time fav's.I have seen at least half of them in concert and would love to see them again.
I love this band. It was the first band I ever saw in concert. Even though it’s supposed to be a “guys” band, (which I don’t get)I love them anyways . Geddy, Alex and Neil enough said.Awesome!There is just something about Geddy Lees voice. And then there is Neil Peart, what an amazing drummer. In my opinion there is no other as great as him.Did I say I love this band?Did you know that Geddy and Alex have been good friends since grade school?
They are my all time fav. I really like a lot of their older music. I saw them in concert this summer, 2nd time since I originally saw them back in the 80’s.
There is just something about Sully’s voice that turns me on.
Plus he is so very sexy, even if he isn’t very tall. I love ALL of their music. I went to see them this summer in concert, but they were the last band of the day and I was pretty wiped out( I mean drunk and tired) by then, so I would love to see them again.
Five Finger Death Punch-
Now even though this band is a heavy metal band, they do have some softer songs. The lead singer “Ivan” is sooo amazing.He is a great guy. I love to watch him on stage, plus he is sexy as hell. I have seen them in concert twice this year.
Older band but classic. They have rocked it for years and are still amazing. If they ever toured again, I would totally go see them. Even though Bonham is no longer with us.I would still love to see them in concert.
I have been listening to these guys since I was 15 years old. LOVE their music. Saw them in concert last year, still rockin it even at their age.
I mean come on who doesn’t love to watch Angus Young play? He is freakin awesome. Look at Brian Johnson, even though he has only been around since the 80’s he is still a kickass singer.
That’s it for now.
That is my top list of shit I listen to every day. So what is on your list? That you listen to religiously ? I wanna know. and why are they so special.
Hello, meet KittyCat. Shes l o v e s to lick and to be licked.
Ohhhhhh, and to be stroked.
Now that I got your attention.
I was going to give you a little bit of history lesson today. On kitty cats. Meow! Well really the Egyptian cats, Bast and Sekhmet.
The cat is just one of the many Egyptian gods.
It is probable that many of modern Indo-European names for the cat are derived from the word utchat: cat, chat, cattus, gatus, gatous, gato, katt, katte, kitte, kitty, etc
From "Pasht" we get the remaining Indo-European names for the cat: pasht, past, pushd, pusst, puss, pussy, as well as the word "passion".
Bast and Sekhmet were two Egyptian Cat Goddesses.
Goddess of Sensual Pleasure. (that is soooo me!)
Bast is the Egyptian Goddess with the body of a beautiful young woman and the head of a cat. She held many, sometimes contradictory, roles. These beliefs were not all necessarily held at the same time, or in the same place. Beliefs shifted over several millennia, and over vast geographical distances, eliefs shifted over several millennia, and over vast geographical distances.
Bast is the Goddess of cats, the rising sun, the moon, truth, enlightenment, lesbians, sexuality, physical pleasures, fertility, bounty, birth, plenty, the household and protector of the home, civilization, creation, music, dance, the arts, hemp, and battler of serpents which attack the sun god.
Bast also represents the Maiden aspect of the Triple Goddess.
She was viewed as the beneficent side of the lioness-goddess Sekhmet.
Sekhmet (Sakhmet) is one of the oldest known Egyptian deities. Her name is derived from the Egyptian word "Sekhem" (which means "power" or "might") and is often translated as the "Powerful One".
Sekhmet (AKA Sekhmet, Sakhmet, or Sekhmet the Destroyer) is the Goddess of sunset, destruction, death, rebirth and wisdom. She is also sometimes defined as a warrior or huntress goddess.
The cycle of life and death was created when the primeval Goddess Sekhmet-Bast divided into two sisters. Another legend regarding her origins is that she was created by Ra from the fire of his eyes as a creature of vengeance to punish mankind for his sins.
Later, she became a peaceful protectress of the righteous, closely linked with the benevolent Bast.
Sekhmet is typically shown as a black skinned woman with the head of a lioness. Her eyes and hair are often orange or red. Sekhmet represents the Crone aspect of the Triple Goddess.
Halloween was originally celebrated as the Feast of Sekhmet and Bast.